#BlogElul2013: Accept

Acceptance is hard.

Learning to accept someone else’s differences of opinions, thoughts, belief, hopes, dreams? Really hard.

Learning to be forgiving of yourself for your myriad faults and shortcomings, particularly as they relate to your spiritual life and accepting that observance goes through stages, ebbs and flows, but that doesn’t alter the underlying faith? Really, really hard.

Last year, everything was fresh and new and exciting. I was Becoming Jewish and I had direction and purpose. And now, I feel a little adrift. Trying to accept that this is where I am right now without surrendering to it, without giving up, learning where and how to push myself spiritually.

Learning to accept that this is still new for me – as someone who didn’t grow up religious and then spent a lot of solitary time exploring spirituality and faith, being part of an organized religion,  identifying to the core of my being as a spiritual, religious person, a Jew, is still new. It’s just now instead of learning how to become a Jew, I’m learning how to live as one. And accepting that I don’t have the answers, or have it all figured out just yet, that’s hard.  But it’s a worthwhile struggle.

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