#BlogElul2013: Be

How do we train ourselves to be in the moment? To be present in our relationships with other people, to fight the increasing encroachment of our phones, of the urge to grab our phones even when in the presence of other people? When engaged in conversation but our mind starts to wander? When sitting in shul waiting for services to begin, head down instead of up and smiling, trying to build relationships and connections?

It’s something I struggle with a lot, and it’s a habit I not only dislike, but one that I think is detrimental. When we are not being in the moment, when we are not giving someone our undivided attention, our relationship with them suffers. I’ve hurt people and had to seek forgiveness for behaving this way. I’m sure others have in turn hurt those they love with these behaviors. The less we “be” in the moment, the more absorbed in our own internal world we become, observing rather than participating. And that’s sad. It’s one of the main reasons I’m thinking of banning smartphones at our wedding – so that our loved ones are focused on us and our vows instead of being distracted by their phones.

Spiritually, more and more, I find (sensing a recurring theme here) that I’m struggling but very much needing to be in the moment of Shabbat. To disconnect, to engage, to recharge and to be in the moment, in the peace, and the quiet, and the rest that is Shabbat.

I have some teshuva to do in the context of my human relationships, but as far as my relationship with Hashem is concerned, I need to work harder at being mindful and present and just being in the moments, big and small and everything in between.

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